“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” ~Nelson Mandela
I conduct Facilitation trainings: helping corporate types learn the art of facilitating a group, as opposed to the art of presenting to a group. They are not the same thing, and leaders need to understand that to drive better results.
While an effective facilitator may have learned the art of the latter, most presenters haven’t harnessed the power of former. The key ingredient is the ability to think on your feet, to veer from the crispest script and best laid plan in response to group dynamics in the moment.
This scares the crap out of most people; they like scripts, agendas, and plans.
In my 3-day facilitation program (which I’m conducting twice this month, so it’s on my mind) the participants are given a couple of homework assignments, one of which is to tell the group something about which they feel some degree of passion. Five minutes on their feet, and I charge them the night before that they’re not to read from a script, that I want them away from the printed word, talking from their hearts.
I want to get a sense of their authentic connection skills.
Here’s what I see time after time: People put 80% of their effort trying to write the perfect script, anyway (because that’s the way we’ve been trained). And they put only 20% of their effort (consciousness) into understanding the moment that exists when they stand up to deliver, the energy in the room when they speak, as opposed to the way they pictured in their heads the night before.
It’s the way we’re wired, as though intense preparation guarantees results. It doesn’t; effective execution does.
Counter-intuitively, audiences connect with people when they stumble, when they let go of trying to follow their over-honed script, when they get real and talk from the heart.
Can’t talk from the heart unless you’re fully present in the moment.
I tell them: Spend 20% of your effort with the what you want to say, and 80% on why you want to say it. I have found that groups, teams, audiences, will forgive you all kinds of mistakes as long as you’re connected to yourself when you make them.
People connect in the space of why, not what.
No matter how the words come out—and believe me, they rarely come out in the order you planned, or they way they were written, not if you’re talking from your heart in the moment—you’ll connect with your listeners and improve understanding while building trust.
And that’s all that really matters.
“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.” ~ Lee Iacocca
