“Should is a futile word. It’s about what didn’t happen. It belongs in a parallel universe. It belongs in another dimension of space.” ~ Margaret Atwood
Oh, if I had a nickel for every should I’ve heard people utter during the course of my career!
“What do you think I should do?”
“Should I (fill-in-the-blank)?
“I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but…
“I don’t know what I should do about this (person/situation/feeling).”
“I should go ahead and just do it.”
“I should just keep my mouth shut.”
“I shouldn’t have to (fill-in-the-blank)!”
Whew. As Sister Mary Tricky says, “We’re shoulding all over ourselves.”
And in all cases, shoulds reflect a lack of clarity about what’s most important to you.
Begin with what you want, why you want it, and whether you chose to do/say it.
When you get clear, shoulds diminish, and eventually disappear, becoming choices, clear choices.
Clear choices empower you; shoulds deplete your energy.
It’s basic accounting: deposits into and withdrawals from your energy bank account.
Feeling drained, frustrated or resentful? Take inventory of your shoulds.
Because they will wear you out.
So, you should stop.
That is, if you choose to…
“You would be much happier if you removed the word ‘should’ from your vocabulary. ‘Should’ is denial. You’re saying your expectations deserve to override reality.” ~Albert Ellis
