“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.” ~Bill Gates
I’ve had the pleasure of mentoring some bright people over the years—had quite a stable of folks go on to create impressive accomplishments.
Someone recently asked me to mentor her, specifically for facilitation, and I agreed.
Later, upon giving her some feedback regarding her level of preparation for dealing with C-level leaders, she took offense and resorted to what I can only call a series of truculent teenage responses by e-mail.
I was gob-smacked by her lashing out and shortsighted choices. But then, that’s what unwillingness sounds like.
It reminded me that we only get defensive in the face of input that we don’t want to be true.
Willful blindness is not an effective long-term strategy for improvement.
When I trained to become a facilitator—back in the 80’s—I was subjected to endless input (years of it!), feedback from other seasoned facilitators who I trusted enough to have my best interests at heart. And some of the feedback was tough to take, as in drop-to-my-knees and weep kind of tough.
But I took it—I wanted it that bad—and I improved, eventually becoming a top facilitator for my former employer, and then launching my own company.
Years of feedback, a willingness to hear and absorb it, and a dedication to truth and effectiveness is what pushes us forward and upward.
Truth from others only hurts when we haven’t been honest with ourselves first, or are unwilling to try.
Because willingness is the first and most important doorway through which we must walk in order to improve.
