“The less people know, the more they yell.”— Seth Godin
Do you have a problem with blow-hards?
Probably, but I have a soft spot for them. Because I know that under that gruff exterior is a marshmallow of a kid wounded by the world on his way up the ladder of life.
And once he or she reaches the top couple of rungs, sometimes they try to blow even harder, because it seemed to work well as they climbed.
What I know about people who end up yelling as a way to make their point is this: they’re frustrated, scared, hurt or ignorant.
Their yelling is not about you, it’s a reflection of their inner dialogue.
It’s helpful to remember that when someone’s “losing their shit” in your presence. Yelling is a lazy way to communicate. It’s a short-term strategy that’s demoralizing and exhausting.
But if you’re the one who resorts to yelling, as executive coach Marshall Goldsmith coined in his brilliant book of the same title, “What got you here won’t get you there.”
Something’s got to change if you want to move forward, because resorting to yelling is a sign of having communicated ineffectively up to that point.
The next time someone loses their shit all over you, look at them and listen as you would when a child throws a tantrum, with bemused tolerance; your calm demeanor just might help them calm down.
And if you wake up mid-sentence to find you’re the one yelling, stop. Take a big breath. Then speak. Maybe even apologize.
To yell less, learn more.
Because people will mind you losing your shit a whole lot less when you clean up after yourself.
